Sorry, but wearing a bandana on your head does not mean you are copying Tupac. They have been worn several years before Tupac was ever born, or even thought about being born.

Your love is gonna drown.

    Today’s youth is so confused with love. They break up and hate one another and then get back together and love the same person so fast that it doesn’t make any sense at all. How could you do that to someone else, let alone yourself? If you keep breaking up and getting back together, maybe you should stay broken up. Just make up your minds.
     And another thing is that kids say they love every boyfriend or girlfriend they get within a week of being together. My gosh, it takes some time, slow down and enjoy one another. Get to know them, make sure they are legit, then see how it all goes. I’m not saying that you can’t love someone so soon after dating, it happens to some, but anymore people just say they love someone because they are afraid that they are never going to find that one person they really want, so they settle or say to anyone that will allow them to say it.
     That being said, I am afraid. So afraid that I won’t find love. I am already twenty and I haven’t had a boyfriend in over a year. Having no one take an interest in me. It’s a bit sad, but I’d rather be alone and have cats then be with someone who doesn’t care enough for me. I have made that mistake far too many times. I don’t know much and I have no idea what I am doing with my life. But I do know that I am heading in the direction of the wonderful Illinois.
      This whole little deal I just typed was nonsense, but It has been crossing my mind lately with all the people being so “in love” with their new boyfriend/girlfriends every week when they have a new one.
I am guilty of this myself. I love, love. I am fascinated by it, but I have such a kind heart. It tends to get the best of me. But that’s alright. I have learned to enjoy and love things in a whole new way.
This probably doesn’t even make sense, but it did and does in my head.

:)

It's back. The whispering. I don't know who it could be saying my name and apologizing to me. It's really starting to scare me. Why are they saying sorry? What's going to happen? Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe it's my grandpa.. It's the only one I could think of. I have been missing him again. I think it gets worse every time. Perhaps one of these nights I will ask for them to give me some sort of sign or to show themselves in my dreams..

Don't move away. Please. I know everything happens for a reason. And if you are meant to be back here you will. I just don't want you ruining your life. I still care for you, I will always care for you. You will always mean a lot to me. No matter what. Even if you are a horrible person to me. I know part of you still cares. It just hurts me a lot to know what you are doing, but you will figure everything out that you are doing.

The time spent laying in my bed until I fall asleep is always the hardest part of the day for me.

I am having a hard time

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I never moved. Would I have been happier. Would I have better friends. Even though I was only a little kid, I grew found of the little two bedroom shack. Where me, mother, father and my two brothers all lived. So many great memories were built there. Some we will never ever get back.
   I had the truest friends and a great life. The best life an 9 year old could have. I wish I could go back to running through the creek with my brother. Climbing trees, being dirty. Being the best little girl I could be. Having no running water I never complained. It made me happy because I never had to take a bath. I really hated those cold sponge baths in the winter.
  But then you had a heart attack. And that's when things got bad. Grandma started losing it. Saying dad and the rest of us were taking things from her house. This was all so strange to me since I was only a small child. Then shortly you  past away and everything took a turn for the worst.
  We moved to Iowa and nothing has ever been the same. I miss you more and more each day. I wish I could see you again, smell you, hug you, talk to you. I wonder if you would be proud of me, would you love me? I miss your joking around with me. Riding in your red Monte Carlo. Getting McDonald's. Each day gets harder. I think of all the kids I know that have their grandpa's and I am jealous, I am envious. You were taken away from me. And I would give anything to have you back. I want to have your scent on me always.
 I want you to know I've never forgotten about you. My daddy is starting to look more like you everyday. I think that's why I am so close with him. I know he hurts. He has a hard time expressing his feelings, but I can tell and I know that he wishes you were here too. He has nobody. Mom tries being there for him, but it's just not the same. I have nobody. I only have one person I can talk to. And I know she gets tired of hearing the same things from me, but I have no one else to talk to. I talk to you sometimes, but I don't think you can hear me. I wish you could let me know if it was you that protected my in my car accident. So many things I wonder. But I shall go for now. I talk to you soon grandpa, okay? I love you, forever.